3 LESSONS ON TRUE SELF-LOVE
So 2022 has ended.
This year I didn’t write as much as last year, I didn’t post videos like last year. I don’t organize as many events like last year, nor do I force myself to work as much as last year.
There are times when thoughts of comparison with others come back, making me feel like felt “guilty” and “inferior.” But then I realized that 2022 is truly a meaningful year for me, because I have gone through a journey of inner development. Thanks to this journey, I have gained more peace and happiness in my soul.
Today I want to share with you 3 lessons that I have learned in the past year about this journey.
1. UNDERSTAND YOURSELF
I used to feel directionless in life.
Even though in the eyes of those around me, I was so lucky, so successful, and had no reason to be sad. But I always felt like something was missing, making me always have a feeling of “unpeacefulness.”
And then I decided to find the answer.
I read book after book, watched video after video, took course after course.
I looked at the outside world. see what other people are doing, with the desire to find a solution to my problem.
After going a big circle, I realized:
“It’s time for me to return to myself, to truly understand myself.”
- Who am I?
- What do I want?
- What do I need?
- What are my strengths?
- What are my weaknesses?
- The bright side?
- My dark side?
I need to look at myself objectively, without judgment, without covering up. I realized that, while I was engrossed in chasing life outside and learning about others, I had abandoned myself for too long.
And in the end, only when I understand myself can I stop groping aimlessly in the dark.
2. LOVE YOURSELF
After seeing all aspects of myself, including the imperfections, I had to learn to love myself.
Before, I had always heard the phrase “love yourself” but I didn’t really understand it. I used to think “loving yourself” is making yourself happy, doing what you want to do, or being beautiful on the outside.
But “loving yourself” THE RIGHT WAY is doing what is “good for yourself” – in all aspects – physically, mentally, as well as emotionally.
Loving yourself requires discipline.
For example, in times of boredom, it’s easy to scroll through Facebook and watch entertaining videos. Even though they brought me laughter, I later realized that I always felt guilty for wasting a large amount of time and not completing my goals.
Joy for a moment but brings a long-term regret later.
So, when watching those videos, do I really love myself?
Loving yourself requires discipline, but that doesn’t mean we should hate our imperfections.
Growing up with a strict upbringing from my parents, I always felt“not enough”. good”, “not good enough.” Every time I do something wrong, I always torment and torment myself. I used to hate myself because of my “imperfections”.
But I have realized the danger of that “black/white” thinking. Just because you don’t achieve your goals, doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Just because you’re not perfect, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved.
And more than anyone else, you need to learn to “love yourself unconditionally.” Love yourself with all your imperfections. I need to love myself, because I deserve to be loved.
3. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
After understanding yourself and loving yourself properly, the final step is to have the courage to live true to yourself.
I still remember when I was in medical school, there were days when I really wanted to study, but I was too tired and no longer alert enough to study. So I decided to go to bed early and wake up early to study, instead of trying to stay up and trying to study but it was ineffective.
When I made that decision, I felt quite hesitant, because I’m always the person who feels insecure when going to bed without finishing studying. But I dared to “risk” because I understood who I was, I understood that my brain was no longer alert to function.
At this point, when I left working, having a family, with many responsibilities and decisions that need to be made, decisions that are much bigger than whether to go to bed early or not, I am still learning how to “live true to myself.”
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This is not easy at all, when the world around us is always filled with noise, making us easily confused and agitated. There is advice that is useful to others, but it may not be really useful to you. There are paths that other people take that may not be the path that is truly suitable for you.
And only when you DARE accept your own differences, to walk on the path that is unique to you, can you become the best possible version of yourself.
These are my 3 lessons in 2022. I hope the sharing will help you. Wishing you a peaceful, happy, and healthy 2023.
Please comment “yes” if this article is useful to you.
Dr. Christina Nguyen
The Phoenix Medical Academy.
