SURVIVAL SKILLS NO ONE TELLS YOU IN THE FIRST YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE
When you leave your parents’ arms and enter the first years of independence, you may think that just by studying hard or getting good grades, your life will progress and be successful.
But the truth is, there are survival skills that no one teaches you. at school: from how to manage money so as not to fall “out of pocket” at the end of the month, to learning how to love yourself and build happiness from within.
I used to stumble, shop mindlessly just because of “sales”, and also made mistakes in love in my youth. Through those stumbles, I realized valuable lessons that I want to share with you today in the hope that someone out there will not make them again.
1. PERSONAL FINANCE AND SPENDING MANAGEMENT
After graduating from university and leaving the arms of their parents, during 4-6 years of university, most students only focus on schoolwork and other related aspects without paying much attention to spending management and personal finances, especially students in knowledge-intensive majors such as medicine and pharmacy.
In the US, most people borrow from the government to study medicine and pharmacy. Will pay in installments after going to work. Although the debt can be up to $200-$300K (7-9 billion VND), there are friends who know how to save money and have paid off all their debt within just 3-5 years after becoming an official doctor.
But besides those few, in America, people also have their own name for doctors, HENRY – High Income Not Rich Yet (high income but not rich).
Even, many doctors have to live a Paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle, which means living precariously waiting for a salary every month, even though their income can be up to ~$400K ~10 billion VND/year.
To put it into perspective, the average income of Americans is about $58K, which means that even though the salary is as high as 6 or 7 normal people combined, they still do not have enough money and have to borrow money to spend at the end of the month.
In Vietnam, the majority of You will be supported by your parents during college until you earn money and can support yourself. Therefore, if you do not practice spending control early on, you will easily fall into the same situation as those doctors.
With a limited salary when you first graduate, along with many expenses such as extra tuition, housing, electricity and water bills, food and beverage, not to mention weddings, diplomacy… The burden of food, clothes and money weighing heavily on your shoulders will make you very pressured, unable to focus on professional development and enjoy life. live.
Therefore, learn to control your spending right from the first days away from your parents’ arms. Try to control your cash flow and always have a reserve amount of money equivalent to at least 6 months of your expenses.
I always keep in mind and remind myself every day to “Live below your means” – Always spend below your income. Because no matter how high your income is, if you live lavishly and freely buy things you don’t need without planning for the distant future, one day you will have to sell the assets you really need.
More than anyone else, I understand the pain of this mistake because I used to do that myself, buying a lot of clothes, cosmetics, books, courses… just because they were on sale.
But the result is that they are all thrown away until they expire because I really don’t need them like “I thought”. Then when it’s time to do something that really requires progress, I complain about the amount of money I wasted before.
There is a website that I often refer to called “White Coat Investor”, this is a very useful website in terms of financial development specifically for doctors. Besides, on YouTube there are also many videos of financial gurus that you can refer to completely free of charge.
Managing personal finances and spending is a survival skill, especially in an era where every item can be easily ordered with a few touches like today, when we are easily fooled by the internet and consume according to our personal emotions.
Having a reasonable spending habit and a long-term financial plan will bring you closer to the milestone of financial freedom, where you have the freedom to do what you love, and are no longer controlled by money to do things that go against your values.
In addition, financial freedom is also the only way to protect yourself against unexpected situations in life such as illness, job loss, or other unexpected expenses.
I wish you soon have healthy spending habits and financial freedom in the near future.
2. GOOD LOVE AND SELF-HAPPINESS
A common characteristic of many young doctors (including myself in the past) is that they lack social skills. One of them is the skill of self-healing and bringing happiness to yourself.
It is a fact that it is very difficult to bring happiness to those around you, especially your lover/partner when you are in an unhealed state.
Why do I care so much about this aspect? Because your partner will be the most important person to you from this stage of your life forward. Whether you succeed or fail, whether you are happy or miserable, 80% is determined by this choice.
Writer Nam Cao once wrote: “A person with a sore leg can never forget his painful leg to think of something else? When he is suffering too much, he can no longer think of anyone else. His good nature is affected by worries. worry, sadness and selfishness cover it up…”
We easily have feelings for someone, but to love and have a happy marriage with that person is not something that is obvious. You don’t have to depend 100% on the so-called blessings.
To love and be happy with someone, first of all, the person you need to love is yourself, and then, love them the way they want to be loved. – “Fill up your own cup, and let them fall in love with the overflow.”
That is a lesson that I spent many years of my youth learning and having a perfect marriage like now.
You are young, beautiful and full of knowledge. understanding, you should understand your value, from there know how to take care of and protect your emotions, and don’t hesitate to set clear boundaries in relationships.
Love should be a 100-100 relationship, where it comes from two happy individuals coming together, cultivating and building a better place together. because of a 50/50 relationship, where two people lacking emotional warmth come together, with the hope that the other person will be responsible for their happiness. In this life, no one will have that responsibility, whether it is your spouse or your children.
Hopefully the things I share today will be somewhat useful to you.
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